The Story Behind Theo’s Name

As you can imagine, I have been photographing our little boy constantly since he was born. I have lots of goodies to share when I finish editing them…you know, in all my spare time. Today I wanted to share a couple portraits that I took of the baby and several that Ben took of me with him.

I want to tell you the story of his name.

I had really wanted Theo, our last baby, to be a girl. Quite honestly, I had my heart set on it, though I tried to remind myself that there was a good 50% chance that the baby would be a boy. I think a good amount of it was that I wanted Ruby to have a sister like I have, who is such a treasure to me. I had saved Ruby’s sweet dresses and always imagined having another girl to put them on and make little pigtails sticking straight up in her hair.

When we found out at my 20 week ultrasounds that Jasper and Tymen were boys, I was thrilled and have loved the introduction of messy, sweet, and muddy into my life. I have loved having sons. However, on this last time around, we saw that the baby was definitely a boy and my heart sank.

I was sad. Really sad. I had to stay near the hospital for another appointment so Ben went home to tell the kids and Ruby was crestfallen and cried. I called on my cell phone about a half hour later from University Village where I was walking around, mourning the baby girl clothes that I wouldn’t be buying. I had Ben put me on the phone with Ruby and when I asked her if we would make it in a house full of boys, her quiet little voice replied, “No.” Well, I just bawled right there by the playground and tried to not make myself too obvious, mopping up my face on my sleeve.

I had a hard time for a few weeks and it bothered me. I wanted to be really happy. It wasn’t so much that I was having a boy as I was having to give up the dream of having a girl.

I prayed and asked for me heart to be settled and to have perspective. Quite clearly the Lord spoke to my heart and told me that our son was a gift from Him. And with that word, the tension and sadness dissolved and an expectant hope started to grow.

A few weeks later, we were at church on a Thursday night for prayer. Ben was having some particular eye challenges at that time and a small group of people were praying for him. At one point they asked to pray for me too and after praying for our baby, one of the ladies looked at me and said, “This baby is a gift from God.”

Before the ultrasound I had several girls’ names that I was sifting through but not really any boys’ names. So one night I sat at the computer and started looking up the meanings of boys’ names that we liked. When I looked up “Theo” and read “Gift from God” I had tears running down my face.

Now that he is here, I have been marveling for the last ten days at what a perfect, wonderful, incredible gift he is. And I know, without a doubt, that this child is heaven sent.

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Each day I find myself for hours looking at his face, memorizing the creases under his eyes, his squeaks, the spikey black hair, and his chubby softness. And my heart is absolutely saturated with love for this little baby, so much so that I am almost incredulous at ever wanting anyone besides him. He is a gift and one that I am desperately grateful for.

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Ben took these a few days ago and I love them because I think he captured how much I love my baby boy.

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All children are a gift from the Lord and I am thankful that He knows what we need better than we know ourselves.

My cup overflows.

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Kellie - November 4, 2010 - 8:24 pm


melanie - November 4, 2010 - 8:26 pm

wow, c! you are so good at bringing me to tears lately! i’m so glad that you have been blessed with such a perfect little family! you are such a good mommy! i love you, friend, and my heart overflows with happiness for you!

Suzi - November 4, 2010 - 8:47 pm

I love stories of how babies names are chosen. While all chidren are truly gifts from God, choosing a name to reflect that gift is not always easy. Continued bessings to you and your family.

Cindy - November 4, 2010 - 9:04 pm

You look crazily, happily smitten! As a MOB (mother of boys) i understand the longing for a girl, yet I also know the incredible joy of sons to love & who adore me.

Jodee - November 4, 2010 - 10:31 pm

Tears again….more tears! Happy and joyful ones though! I cried too when I found out I was having a second girl! I had a perfect boy name, no girl names and wanted desperately to have a boy knowing we were only going to have two babies. Now I could not imagine my life without my two girls!!! What a heart felt story and brave woman to admit these feelings. Theo is a Gift from God!! As are all your little blessings. I love the last photo best!! SOOOO beautiful!

Amy - November 5, 2010 - 9:17 am

Oh How I love walking this life of MommyHood with you. You are a gift from the Lord. I love how you share your heart and your heart cries. God truly knows what our families need. He knows best – a lesson we are always learning in all of our lives. Love you so much and your sweet family.

Susan - November 6, 2010 - 2:18 pm

What a beautiful and wonderful story Cassandra…and a beautiful gift from God. Hugs and love to all!

Angela R. - November 6, 2010 - 10:57 pm

Thank you for being so open in this post – I love your blunt HONESTY! Such a beautiful post, too.

And can I say – Ben is quite the photographer! Seriously, he should go into business with you! 😉

carla stolte - November 7, 2010 - 1:19 pm

Thanks for sharing. Enjoy your gift!

Sylvia Hamilton - November 8, 2010 - 6:52 pm

What a precious gift from God! Your Mother’s Heart is showing and it encourages us all to treasure mothering. So much love needed to grow those little ones up into “good men” important in the world. When they grow up and marry you get some great new female members of the family………Love you!

Samantha Chapman - October 25, 2012 - 3:51 pm

I had tears reading this (I just linked to it from Theo’s 2nd b-day post), as it describes exactly the gamut of emotions I went through when finding out that we were having our 4th boy. I was devastated after the ultrasound and cried for 2 days. Not because I was having another boy – I LOVE and absolutely adore my boys – but because I was mourning the daughter I’d never have. I can’t really describe that sensation to anyone else – feeling like a part of you is missing because there is a child you will never get to meet, even though they were never there in the first place – but just from reading what you wrote, I know you felt exactly what I felt, and can sympathize with my emotions completely. That touched me deeply and it was nice just knowing that I’m not the only one who has felt that way! And like you, I simply cannot imagine having anyone other than my precious Baby Benjamin now :)

[…] referring to him as my baby even though he’s turning two. He may just be my baby forever. His name means “Gift from God“. He is a gift to our whole […]

[…] I’ve been waxing sentimental, thinking about when this little fella was BORN and mostly how he truly is living up to God’s promise that he’d be A GIFT TO OUR FAMILY. […]

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