As you can imagine, I have been photographing our little boy constantly since he was born. I have lots of goodies to share when I finish editing them…you know, in all my spare time. Today I wanted to share a couple portraits that I took of the baby and several that Ben took of me with him.
I want to tell you the story of his name.
I had really wanted Theo, our last baby, to be a girl. Quite honestly, I had my heart set on it, though I tried to remind myself that there was a good 50% chance that the baby would be a boy. I think a good amount of it was that I wanted Ruby to have a sister like I have, who is such a treasure to me. I had saved Ruby’s sweet dresses and always imagined having another girl to put them on and make little pigtails sticking straight up in her hair.
When we found out at my 20 week ultrasounds that Jasper and Tymen were boys, I was thrilled and have loved the introduction of messy, sweet, and muddy into my life. I have loved having sons. However, on this last time around, we saw that the baby was definitely a boy and my heart sank.
I was sad. Really sad. I had to stay near the hospital for another appointment so Ben went home to tell the kids and Ruby was crestfallen and cried. I called on my cell phone about a half hour later from University Village where I was walking around, mourning the baby girl clothes that I wouldn’t be buying. I had Ben put me on the phone with Ruby and when I asked her if we would make it in a house full of boys, her quiet little voice replied, “No.” Well, I just bawled right there by the playground and tried to not make myself too obvious, mopping up my face on my sleeve.
I had a hard time for a few weeks and it bothered me. I wanted to be really happy. It wasn’t so much that I was having a boy as I was having to give up the dream of having a girl.
I prayed and asked for me heart to be settled and to have perspective. Quite clearly the Lord spoke to my heart and told me that our son was a gift from Him. And with that word, the tension and sadness dissolved and an expectant hope started to grow.
A few weeks later, we were at church on a Thursday night for prayer. Ben was having some particular eye challenges at that time and a small group of people were praying for him. At one point they asked to pray for me too and after praying for our baby, one of the ladies looked at me and said, “This baby is a gift from God.”
Before the ultrasound I had several girls’ names that I was sifting through but not really any boys’ names. So one night I sat at the computer and started looking up the meanings of boys’ names that we liked. When I looked up “Theo” and read “Gift from God” I had tears running down my face.
Now that he is here, I have been marveling for the last ten days at what a perfect, wonderful, incredible gift he is. And I know, without a doubt, that this child is heaven sent.
Each day I find myself for hours looking at his face, memorizing the creases under his eyes, his squeaks, the spikey black hair, and his chubby softness. And my heart is absolutely saturated with love for this little baby, so much so that I am almost incredulous at ever wanting anyone besides him. He is a gift and one that I am desperately grateful for.
Ben took these a few days ago and I love them because I think he captured how much I love my baby boy.
All children are a gift from the Lord and I am thankful that He knows what we need better than we know ourselves.
My cup overflows.